Why Would Someone Marry Me?
No one gets to choose what diseases they are going to get or not contract. Some can be avoided by not being near problem areas. Others may be missed by living life in a particular way, such as eating right, exercising and avoiding exposure to things or elements that can make a person sick, like pollution.
In my case life was as normal as normal could be until I turned 26. I wasn’t feeling well and some examinations triggered some sort of sign that suddenly had the doctors putting me through lots of tests. After lots of examinations, blood tests, more tests and more office visits, I then received a diagnosis from a specialist – I was sick and not in a normal sick way.
My condition is known as Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, or EDS. It’s a condition associated with connective tissues which are all over the human body. Whether its skin, the circulatory system, organs, joints or anything else, there’s connective tissue involved. The condition runs a wide range of symptoms from very little being noticed in terms of only have joints that seem to be looser or more prone to spraining to very acute and serious conditions that lead to organ failure and emergency room situations.
I obviously walked out of the doctor’s office that day entirely changed. The day before I was like any mid-20s person, thinking about a career, life, maybe finding Mr. Right and having a family. 24 hours later I was wondering if I would be dead within the same year. I became immediately depressed and scared. In fact, my fear was so bad at first that I just about had an anxiety meltdown.
Well, the good thing is, I did not die. But I did go through hell for the next seven years. Just about every week was some sort of test or check to see if my critical organs are continuing to work or not. From checking whether my heart was not showing signs of exploding to my lungs still pumping the same amount of air as the previous week, my days were spent being checked, scanned and reported.
My system is degrading though. My bone density is decreasing, which increases my changes of breaking a bone or joint, and my ankle joints have already been reinforced to maintain the ability to carry my body load. And I have regular chiropractic session to keep my back and neck straight to avoid premature curvature. Long story short, I’m a continuously worsening wreck.
So why in the world would anyone want to get married to me? I keep asking myself that question everyday and why I’m so lucky to have the husband I have. He knows my situation, he knows I could die in the next year or be laid up in a bed the rest of my limited life, and he loved me enough to get married anyways.
I actually broke the news to him on our third date when we were parking for a movie. I pulled a handicapped parking sign from my bag and used it as a context to tell him what was going on with me medically. At first I just joked and mentioned I had bad ankles, but my husband didn’t think much of it, laughed and pulled right into a handicapped marked parking spot. I was afraid he would have spooked knowing more, so I held off giving any more information. However, eventually I told him my full story, and he never left. He stayed with me from that third date on and eventually asked me to marry him.
I could pass tomorrow and we both know it, but we live like it’s not there, and for a change I have a reason to look forward to tomorrow instead of dreading it.